The Wounds We Bear
by Attila12
Summary: "Perhaps he would have been better off left there. Look at him... seeking comfort in the dark and biting cold of winter in this alien realm. It was almost natural."


Alright guys, this is an Avengers short fic that I wrote for a friend of mine who's a _major_ fan of Bruce Banner, BackstageSpotlight31. I personally like to refer to the possible friendship that could exist between Bruce and Loki as Monster Bros. Just for future reference ;P  
Well anyway, I hope you guys like it!

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Loki stared out at the city, the cold winter air, the snow feeling like needles against his skin, whipping his hair into a frenzy. He didn't care as it caught on his lips, blew into his eyes. He didn't care about the way his lips were beginning to tint with blue, and not from his heritage, or the people inside the warmth of the building, or futile efforts at proving himself any longer.

He'd nearly destroyed this city. Killed so many... Perhaps not directly, but their blood was on his hands, as was the blood of so many frost giants, including his own biological father.

He wondered if he might have loved him. He wondered if frost giants could love at all.

The people he claimed to love, he'd wronged. His mother, his father... How much disappointment had he brought with his betrayals? And Thor... He loved Thor, he'd thought. Loved and hated him at once. But who attempted to kill somebody they truly loved?

Maybe he'd never actually loved him. Or anybody. Maybe he really was a monster.

And what was a monster with no home to do? He didn't belong, and efforts to prove otherwise were all doomed to fail. He'd never feel what he imagined Thor felt everyday, would never have what Thor had. He wasn't meant for the golden glow of sunshine, of Asgard. And, thanks to Odin's intervention, he would never feel at home in the dark, bitter cold of Jotunheim either. Perhaps he would have been better off left there. Look at him... seeking comfort in the dark and biting cold of winter in this alien realm. It was almost natural.

He licked his lips, the cold biting into them even more insistently in response.

The corners of his eyes felt a similar sting.

Falling from here would be entirely undignified, leaving him a bloody stain on the sidewalk below. Nobody would know who he was, or had been. There wouldn't even any dental records to identify him with. It would have been so much easier to just fall to his death from the Bifrost.

He was contemplating how they would react to the various ways he could die, how Odin and Frigga would react when they heard of his death, Sif, the Warriors Three, Heimdall...

Was it better to die anonymous or not? Perhaps drowning...

"Loki? What're you doing out here..?" came a mumbled, slightly confused voice, and Loki turned his head to glance at who had spoken.

"I could ask the same of you, Banner," he replied, his expression blank, with a hint of amusement in his features as he let out a short laugh. "Were the others being too rowdy for you?"

"You could say that..." Bruce scratched at the back of his neck, taking slow steps forward until he was standing nearly at the raven haired man's side. "I thought I'd be alone out here... Guess I thought wrong, huh?"

"Sorry to disappoint," Loki replied, a smile tugging at his lips as he ducked his head. "I'll be leaving then-"

The olive skinned male spoke up before he could move to do so. "No, it's fine, really. I don't mind. I just needed some air and open space, so I could calm down, you know?" At Loki's nod, he moved to take a seat on a raised area nearby, his head sagging on his shoulders as he rested his forearms on his thighs and slumped forward. "So uh, at the risk of sounding like Tony, do you come here often?"

Loki chuckled, an almost honest one this time. "I do, actually. I find it oddly ...calming." He licked his lips, then grinned. He ignored the small, sharp pain of his chapped lower lip splitting.

He drew it into his mouth, sucking gently and using his tongue to soothe the injury as he took a seat beside Bruce.

The scientist smiled wryly. "See now, that's why I don't smile much."

The former Asgardian shook his head, still smiling, though not as widely. "No, that's just because you won't allow yourself a bit of fun. I don't think something small like this would phase you much at all."

"True, I guess. I've had worse." The curly-haired man wrung his hands, feeling just a bit self-conscious. "Though, nothing too much worse. Anything life threatening and the other guy takes over."

"Well, that's usually an advantage."

"Yeah... usually."

Loki was silent as his eyes flickered over to the man, scouring the distant look on his face. He was able to recognize what he saw hidden in his features, his voice. Most creatures were able to recognize that which was similar to themselves, their own kind. It was instinct.

"Do you speak from experience?" he asked softly, his eyes trained on the curly-haired man.

"Yeah... I guess Barton couldn't have told you that one, huh? S.H.I.E.L.D. didn't even know about it." Bruce chuckled self-consciously, only half looking over at the pale skinned man. "I uh, I guess that sounds a bit strange, huh?"

"Less so than you may think," Loki replied dryly, turning his own eyes toward the ground as he let out a chuckle of his own. "We have self-termination where I'm from as well. It's a universal sort of thing, I would think. There will always be those people who feel that they have no where else to go."

Bruce's smile was strained. "You speaking from experience too?"

Loki was silent for a moment. "Do not concern yourself with me. I'm fine, I assure you. I come out here only to sort my thoughts."

The scientist was unconvinced, and very much worried, but he knew better than to pry. And besides, he'd come out here to calm himself. If he tried to crack Loki's shell now, he'd only end up cracking his head, or something else. That man was too proud to let someone in without a hell of a fight, and he didn't have it in him right then.

Kill 'em with kindness, the saying went. Maybe it was the best way to save 'em too.

He wrung his hands, nervously adjusting his watch. "So, what about it out here calms you down? I mean, for me, it's the openness. There's no walls, and usually no people. I don't feel like I'm being trapped or pressured at all, you know?"

"Understandable." Loki turned his eyes toward the sky now. "I think for me it's the cold. I don't know if it's my heritage, or the reassurance that I can feel such cold, but it seems to bring some comfort to me." He'd always been somewhat resistant to the cold, though he'd never thought too deeply on it, so he had to stay for a while before it began to trouble him. "I think I've also felt the same as you at times."

Bruce shivered, the cold starting to get to him as it sunk in through his clothing and skin. His nose, ears, cheeks and fingers were starting to turn red. "Well, you certainly seem to fare better in it than I do..." He rubbed his arms.

The Asgardian shook his head, chuckling. "You do not have to stay with me. I'll fair just fine on my own."

"Well, being alone is good sometimes, but sometimes it's nice to have someone around," Bruce insisted, though he knew that it was obvious to both of them that he was freezing his ass off. He tried to smile, but ended up splitting the chapped skin of his lower lip, just as Loki had earlier.

Loki smiled smugly. "It seems we bear the same wound."

He reached over, setting his hand on the doctor's arm, his long, slender fingers brushing lightly against the back of the others hand. "I only contemplate tonight. I promise you, on your life, not mine, that I will not do anything to harm myself if you go back inside."

Bruce laughed dryly. "You saw right through me, huh?"

"I have to, if I don't wish for you to freeze to death over me."

"I'm just a little bit tougher than that, don't ya think?" Bruce wondered if the other guy would even let him freeze to death, if Loki was sending him inside to avoid finding out... But he always had thoughts like that, doubts, and he tried to push them from his mind.

He stood. "Well then, I'm gonna go ahead and head inside, fix myself some hot chocolate."

Loki met his gaze.

The scientist smiled. "You want some? I could bring it out here for you, if you want..."

The wordsmith stood, a slightly warmer smile than any of the others Bruce had seen that night on his face as he shook his head. "I think I'll come inside for a bit, actually. I'm getting a bit chilled... Perhaps I should find an electric blanket if I come back later."

Bruce returned the smile, understanding the unspoken invitation, and stuffed his hands into his pockets.

"Sounds good to me."


End file.
